- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

Vanilla scented blood

The power to swim on land.

Ability to fly 3 feet off the ground and at normal walking speed

The power to telepathically open umbrellas, only open and only umbrellas.

Invincibility, but you feel twice as much pain to everything

The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

power to age faster

The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

the power to fail at everything you do

The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

Pointless Super Powers