To have the ability to piss off the police

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

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the power to do a backflip but only if you break your neck in the process

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The power to be the most beautiful thing ever unless someone watches you.

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The power to move and run faster than anything slower than yourself.

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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the power to eat cheese 24/7

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power drown in water

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the power to do anything ...but only when you're dreaming, lasting only as long as you're asleep..

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The power to have perfect vision, but only in pitch black darkness

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The ability to walk on your hands because your feet have nails in them.

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The power to change the TV channel but only when the remote is in your hand

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The power to die at will

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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The ability to fart, hiccup, vomit, crap, burp, laugh, cry, scream and sneeze all at the same time

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to make any glass of water into milk

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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The power to revive people, however it only works on people who commit genocide.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!