- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to make a baby stop crying for 1 second

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

Power to turn off your computer randomly. You cannot controll that power.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

the power to fail at everything you do

The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

The power to breath under water, while your in a submarine.

The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

The power to hold your breath when you die

The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

The power to poo.

the power to defecate while standing up...

Pointless Super Powers