That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power to stretch infinitely, but you cant return to your normal state.

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to smell through your arse.

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The power to know everything, but then forget every 7 seconds

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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the power to walk on land.

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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To fly.. into the zone.."Friend zone"

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

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The power of HONOR AND LOVE! Moral: it wont make you honorable, or lovable by the way.

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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the power to misspell

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the power to predict Justin Beiber's next album

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times, and just in case of trouble, you can change back by doing the same this time. (good luck jumping inside a sealed casket smartass.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!