The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The ability to not live forever

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The ability to transform yourself into a Turkey but only with a brain larger than the head of a turkey. Note: People will become happy if they eat you for christmas.

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The superpower to attract harm to yourself with twice the damage.

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the power to sing amazingly but only when someone is 158,00000000000 times louder

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The power to be Obama when he's not president anymore

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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The ability to turn things into gold, but only when the material the item is made of is more valuable than gold.

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to extend your pinky toe

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The power to sleep and never be disturbed.

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The ability to speak to deaf caterpillers

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The power to negate all powers including your own.

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The power to teleport, but only to life threatening situations.

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The Ability to shit studs once a week

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The power of magnetism! Aka being so magnetic that you have to live in a home completely made out of plastic, and cant go out because you either get hit by random flying frying pans and stuff literally attracted towards you, or even worse, you could get dragged towards a car in movement and become red paste. A guy with this power could not take it any more, so he bought an iron necklace and put it on... may he rest in peace...

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The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

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The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

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The power to make money disappear.

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to poo without wiping.

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The power to have no superpower

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!