The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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Infinite knowledge when dead

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Justin Bieber

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to see through glass

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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the power to put paper to your nose and blow strange liqeud type substance into it.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to cry sulfuric acid.

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!