The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

thumb_up thumb_down +5

the power to talk to people off long distances,but only with communicational devices.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The power to sit on a pile of change and add it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

The Power To Fly Without control

thumb_up thumb_down +140

The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

The power to change your eye color.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

thumb_up thumb_down +132

The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The ability to read your own mind

thumb_up thumb_down +122

The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

thumb_up thumb_down +120

The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The power to have anything you want that is free.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

the power to know when a politician is lying

thumb_up thumb_down +116

The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

The power that turns farts into music.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

el poder de leer "google" en cualquier idioma

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The ability to get up from the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!