The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to smell through your arse.

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The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to turn shades of brown or red, but only when exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time.

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The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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the power to read your own mind

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the power to walk on land.

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The power to finish right before you start (If you know what I mean)

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times, and just in case of trouble, you can change back by doing the same this time. (good luck jumping inside a sealed casket smartass.

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to fly, but only fly north

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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the power to jizz money

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to breathe oxygen.

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to resurrect dead insects

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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Liam Brudenell

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!