The power to jerk off without using your hands

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The power to never die unless you become sick, injured, or breathe through your nose:/

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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The power to think of food

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The power to kill you self.

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The ability to make your heart teleport.

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The power to erect your nipples at will.

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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the power to talk to people off long distances,but only with communicational devices.

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Th power to have a 10 minute delayed reaction, so if you stub your toe 10 minutes later you scream like a f***nut

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to grow fingernails.

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The power to not look up silly websites on the internet

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The Power To Only Get Horny Around Your Grandmother

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The power to look into the car next to me at the exact moment the driver is picking his nose

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The power to have incredible upper-body strength, but not have arms or legs.

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the power to turn wine into water.

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the power to become demented

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The power to turn 12% invisible.

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The power to laugh at other people when they get hurt, and still be able to have high esteem in front of all your friends.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!