the power to instantly make a time bomb explode the moment you touch it

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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The power to get laid with whomever you choose, but they look and feel like one of your parents.

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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The power to make lipstick fly

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The power to know everyone's name before you meet them but you say it wrong every time

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The ability to find a use for 8th grade Algebra.

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The power to dance excellently each time there is music... either you want to or not.

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The power to be a snail

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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To have the power to breathe

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

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The ability to see through womens clothes....but only if they weigh over 300 pounds.

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The power to die when you get old

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The superpower to detect when someone is racist.

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The power to stop a bullet from hitting someone you care about, once.

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The power to open doors with your bare hands

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!