The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

75% levitation

the power to turn wine into water.

Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

The power to teleport yourself one step away

The power to moves in slow motion.

The ability to fool other drivers on the road into thinking that you are a car-sized mouse.

The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

The power to transform any food into shit simply by eating it.

The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

The power to bingewatch an entire season of a TV show in only five minutes, only to not remember any of it and have to watch it all again through normal means.

the power to make your nipples dissappear

the ability to blow yourself

The power to jump over mountains but die when you hit the ground.

The power to smell whore

The power to extend your pinky toe

The power to turn everything you touch into cheese

The power to be Chuck Norris

The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!