- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

the power to read this sentence

the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

The ability to judge a book by its cover.

The power to fly but only in your room

The power to be stupid reading this.

The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

The power to turn any object into food

you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

The power to vomit every time you burp.

The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

Pointless Super Powers