The power to poop without wiping

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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the power to grill steak for a vegetarian

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power to make the most lethal fart know to man but only when you girlfriends is around

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to communicate with dust bunnies.

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The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

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The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

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The ability to have A's in all your classes, but only if you already have A's in all your classes.

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being able to change shape whist flying "It's a bird!, no it's a plane , It's a flying Sammich!?!

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The power to have no superpower

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to find your lost keys only if the keys are in your pocket.

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power in which whatever you touch into a meme or prank.

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The ability to think why does it say write your own when you type it.

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the power to morph into yourself

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!