The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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the power to be 100% pointless

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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The ability to turn invisible when no one is looking at you, when they look at you you become visible again

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The power to become famous on vine

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to think that you can fly when you wear a cape.

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The power to have no power

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The power to grow a money tree once every 5 years that grows 1 penny every 10 years.

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The power to .... Make pointless superpowers! :D

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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The power to be number one, unless someone was better than you.

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swear words -jesse

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The power to get laid with whomever you choose, but they look and feel like one of your parents.

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The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

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To have the power to breathe

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The power to sleep anytime and anywhere in an instant, but, u can never blink.

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The power to clap 14 times a second

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The power to be french.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!