the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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the power to jump, but only on any surface

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the power to pre-tend your a animal ...

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The power to give people std's during intercourse

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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Nobody in the world has super-powers.

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The power to menstruate from your eyes.

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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the power to cook sandwiches when married

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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The ability to see into the present.

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Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the power to like justin beiber

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The power of compulsive lying.

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the power to feel pain whenever you breathe

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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The power to hold your fart unless people are around you

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to have anything in the world you will never ever need in your life

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!