The power to smell through your arse.

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to hear a "SSSSSSSS" sound, then be blown up.

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The ability to control dairy products

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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being black

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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the power to predict what you are going to post on facebook

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to never be tired, but only when rowing a boat.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

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The power to change your urine to any color

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the power to get a random fruit every 10 days...

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The power to make any glass of water into milk

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The power to think up the best lines but forget them when you try to speak

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The power to make Macs appear instantly, but be unable to left-click on them.

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The power to have your toe nails and fingernails be bulletproof.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!