The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to count the number of hair on your head.... Backwards!

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to fry and suffer harder than anyone when lit on fire.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to make YouTube subscribers disappear.

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The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The power to turn cake into pie

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The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

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The power to take edible shits.

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the power to read your own mind

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!