The power to moves in slow motion.

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The power to eat 100kgs of ice cream and only get type 2 diabetes

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The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

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The power to be reading this when you can WORSHIP ME! Moral: You love me, I love me, we all win! Now, bring forth thy sacrifices, women, gold, diamonds, women, more women, yeah... And if you are a woman, you can come many many times with me...

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The ability too shit out calculators every 10 seconds.

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The power to have a 100% failrate in sports betting

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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The power to do something while you can play games.

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the power to morph into yourself

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The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

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The power to walk through walls, but get stuck half way!

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to find the end of the sticky tape

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The power to play FPS games in real life (respawning included) but lag a lot

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

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The power to break a Nokia

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The power to have no superpower

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The power of women's rights.

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!