The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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to zap people but only yourself

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The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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The ability to see into the present.

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The ability to eat fruit cake without gagging.

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The power of compulsive lying.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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The ability to pass out at will.

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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the power to kill someone if you shoot them in the heart

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The power to be really bad at CSGO

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The power to be able to teleport through a random fat man's colon.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The ability to get anyone answer your messages when the answer starts: What the...

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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The power to smell whore

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!