The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The power to teleport to Mars, but only when your not wearing a helmet and you must stay there for a maximum of one hour.

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The power to divide by zero

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The Power To Make Justin Bieber.

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The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

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the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The ability to jump 8 feet fences

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The power to look like Stephen Hawking but have none of his intelligence.

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The power to regenerate, but only small cuts

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The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

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No matter what you eat, always shit peanut butter.

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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The power to make clean socks dirty.

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The ability to die on command.

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The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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the power of the home depot lisp... and as an added bonus the power of how the universe works lisp

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to turn water into ice but only in sub zero temperatures

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The power to fly whenever you sneeze.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!