The power to have really sweaty palms.

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

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The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

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The ability to stop only ONE bullet and ONE bullet only

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power to die when you get old

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the ability to un-dank any meme

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The ability to die on command.

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The power to make instruments taste mayonnaise.

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the power to read this sentence

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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Immunity to curable diseases.

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The ability to eat the red ones last

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The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

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The power to stand up and do what's right, save people, restore order, preserve life, maintain balance and create peace but the lack of motivation to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

thumb_up thumb_down +80

The power to give the wrong directions

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!