The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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The power to take edible shits.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to whipe the floor with your face.

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The ability to stretch your arm towards an object thats in a reachable distance then clench your hand around the object and pull it to yourself.

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I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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Absolute Defeatability- the power to be defeated by any and all things physical and nonphysiological.

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power look completely butiful but Only in complete darkness

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The power to Rage Against The Machine

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The power to summon fire with the use of a match

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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The ability to keep a song stuck in your head overnight

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The power to turn into a lamp once.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!