The power to speak only in hashtags. #awkward

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The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The power to be and do whatever you want except living forever, only when you are dead

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The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power to die,but only if your alive!

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The power to shoot projectiles from your eyes to the inside of your head.

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power of women's rights.

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The power to teleport to the south pole.

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

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The power to bleed for 3-7 days for a week every month, and still live..

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to zap people but only yourself

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The ability to spit mouthwash

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!