to zap people but only yourself

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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the power to shape shift to yourself

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The power to sit for extended periods of time in front of the computer doing pointless things. The person who is reading this has that pointless superpower otherwise he would be doing something productive.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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The ability to see into the present.

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To Turn Thin To Macho but only in left arm

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The power to get an erection in the most akward of situations.

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The power to become invisible, only when no one is looking at you.

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The power to drink 10 gallons of water only when you desperately need to piss.

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Invisibility, but only in the dark.

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The power to serve the Lord Dog.

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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the ability to see through any vitreous walls or objects

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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The power to make coma patients bark.

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thw power to not feel anything during sex unless you dont like the sex (ie rape, ugly fat pearson)

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The power to make lipstick fly

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The power to speak in only anime openings

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!