The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

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The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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The abillity to laugh hystericaly at theese superpowers, But only when On the toilet pooping.

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the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power to bleed for 3-7 days for a week every month, and still live..

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The ability to control dairy products

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

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The power to make a rather pointless comeback here... Moral: See what I mean? ;),

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The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

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the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to never be old but died at young age

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!