The power to disintegrate yourself

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The power to count the number of hair on your head.... Backwards!

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to Insult people by accidentally saying something you didn't know was offensive to them. You adopted jew

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The abiltity to grow an additional 4 fingered hand from your inner thigh

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The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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Reversed telepathy, everyone can hear your thoughts.

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The power to fly simular to a paper air plane. OH SHIT BIRD SHIT COMING IN.

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The power to do control the atmosphere, but only in space.

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the power to to deep fry anything deep fried

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The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

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the power to have 20/20 vision only when wearing aviators

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The power to take edible shits.

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The power to turn cake into pie

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the power to read your own mind

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The power to eat the same food but you have to throw it up first.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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The power to bounce a beach ball with lightly above-average accuracy

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The power to walk on water mixed with cornstarch and cesium.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!