The power to look into the car next to me at the exact moment the driver is picking his nose

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The ability to read your own mind

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the power to be super ugly

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The power to make spinach taste like brussel sprouts

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The power to change the color of your arm hair.

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The power to get you`re dick stuck to a huge, heavy metal bar no one can lift nor move, either you stay there till you die, or you grab a knife and...

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The power to build Lego with incredible speed, but then knock it down immediately.

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The power to secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes every time you secrete concentrated orange juice from your toes.

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The power to piss your pants whenever you want.

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The power to give anybody the finger - except the person you're mad at.

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the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

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the power to get wider by eating junk food

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ability to levitate using my fart...

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ability to run very fast forever

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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power to poop out 5x5 ice cube

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!