The power to take edible shits.

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The power to give yourself a staticshock, every time you touch yourself.

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The power to give the wrong directions

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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The power to feel like you're gonna sneeze forever

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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the power to get sick

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to talk without a tongue

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The power to have any video game that you want along with its system but if you ever die just once you can never play that game again even if you get a new one.

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to die.

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to have pointless superpowers

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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the power to sing like a pro but only when in a bathroom or when autotune is involved...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!