the power to get wider by eating junk food

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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ability to run very fast forever

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power to poop out 5x5 ice cube

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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The power to fly at 0.00000000000000001mm off of the ground at a speed of 1 mile per hour whenever you desperately need the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +94

the power to see though a door.......................................only if its open

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The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to think of pointless powers.

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The power to run Crysis.

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The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

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The power to be first on any form of media (youtube powers).

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The power to only be able to eat poop

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The ability to replace your DNA with parmesan cheese.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to smell feces from a mile away.

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power to blame it on the Boogie

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!