the power to turn yourself into a toaster. once,

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The power to piss as if you were in zero gravity and leave your big piss ball floating in the bathroom.

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The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

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The power to die at will

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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THE POWER TO NOT HAVE SUPERPOWERS! ...............ever

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the power to photobomb random peoples photos without even knowing

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the power to get sick

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The power to shape-shift only into a human

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The power to see you're self in a mirror

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The power to make Justin Bieber be dead but only when you are listening to someone good at singing

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the power to have an organsim when your a boy

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The power to shrink your dick smaller but an inability to make it larger (even back to the original size).

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the power to cancel your powers wich is the power thats cancelling powers.

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The power to take my legs off the floor while in a sitting position.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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the power to explain accidents when nobody gives a rats ass anymore

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The power to speak braille.

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The power of reading the entire terms of service and understand it in less than 10 hrs.

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The ability to run faster than the speed of sound, but only when laying down.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!