- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to open doors with your bare hands

The power to see through windows

the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

The ability to play UNO without a tongue

The ability to think why does it say write your own when you type it.

The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

The power to communicate with sperm.

The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

The power of 12% levetation

The power to make instruments taste mayonnaise.

The power to gain an erection at will but only in front of your mother

The power to time travel two seconds into the future.

The power to open jam jar lids, however stuck they are.

The power to die at will

The ability to eat the red ones last

The power to be invisible, but only when no one's looking.

The power to hear a "SSSSSSSS" sound, then be blown up.

The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

The power to control weather on Mars

the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

Pointless Super Powers