The power to not being able to go use the bathroom when you have to

The ability to read people's thoughts but only in a language that you do not understand.

The power to ramble on and on endlessly with no end in sight with the most inane of thoughts that no one can begin to guess when they will end or what the value or goal of anything so long-winded might be until you find yourself questioning your very desire to go living if you are only going to continue rambling.

the power to extend commercial time while your in the bathroom

The ability to fly away, but there is a 99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% chance that you will get hit by a plane while taking off.

The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

The ability to die on command.

The power to communicate with sperm.

The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

The ability to breath in a complete vacuum, but not anywhere else

The power to breath fire with out any fire resistance

The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

The power grow arm pit hair 5 times faster and 5 times longer than it was after shaving.

The power to read this.

The power to teleport stupid people away from you - but they teleport to YOUR HOUSE.

The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

The power to jump over any fence no matter how high! Good luck surviving the fall.

THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

The power of omniscience but it causes a near fatal heart attack every time you think.

the power to sleep while standing!

The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

the power to be in AA.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!