The power to control mealworms

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The ability to jump 8 feet fences

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To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The power to change locations with: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Hitler, Stalin, and many more, simply by jumping up and down 3 times.

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The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power to speak in languages that no one around you understands.

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to be missed when present.

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The power to eat sandwiches and never get full

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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The power to be invisible when no one is looking at you!

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to become perfect. Perfect: There can be only one moral man.

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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The power to be a common person

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The power to turn into a pineapple that can teleport into a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died because of a pine apple that was in a persons stomach while they're eating spaghetti with meatballs that arent meatball but instead tofuballs that are flavoured as battery acid that have been poisned with pikachu pee that pikachu drank from a pond with whale corpses that died.

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to remove all flavour from food.

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The power to think of a clever comeback as soon as the person has left the room.

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The power to have pointless superpowers

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!