- Pointless Super Powers

The Power to touch MC Hammer

Power to give birth through your penis.

The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

The power to not be funny

The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

The power to shoot glue from your penis

The power to assassinate already-dead leaders

the power to permanently change your name to Graham

The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

The power to write about pointless superpowers.

The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

The power to hold your pee for 5 minutes longer than normal.

The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

The power to turn into a lamp once.

the power to see everyone as a tree

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

The power to shape-shift only into a human

The ability to see into the present.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!