The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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To shit bricks.

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The ability to teleport 1 step forward at will at a walking pace.

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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The power to summon a rainstorm. Just a rainstorm, nothing else.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to read 1.2x faster than the average person.

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The power to make up pointless superpowers

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The power to change your eye color.

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The power to fall without screaming.

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The power to turn yourself into Donald Trump.

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The power to change $100 to 100 $1

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The power to ejaculate napalm

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The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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the ability to solve paradoxes

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To be able to go to the future but only at 1 second per second.

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The pointless superpower to miss moral man. He was a dick.

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the ability to look into your brain

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The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to lift animate objects in the same direction.

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The power to jump over mountains but die when you hit the ground.

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The power to teleport yourself one step away

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!