the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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Ability to emit a low-level light, but only when standing near a candle.

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The ability to talk to deer, only while riding one.

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Each time to show up on daily live TV each time you are masturbating.

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the power to be powerless

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The ability to swim in water.

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the power to fail at life

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The power to make everyone think that having no power is the ultimate power so everyone thinks they're powerful when they realize they have no powers but you have one so you win

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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The power to fly when your in an airplane

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!