The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to get laid by your right hand.

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The power to read minds, but only that of someone who is watching Twilight.

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the power to walk thorugh a door if its lcosed

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the power to turn into a tree

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The power to teleport to a singular spot 500 meters above sea level and you don't have any other powers.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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the power to sit

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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The power to be immune to any type of radiation, unless it has something from the periodic table.

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The ability to count to potato

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The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

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the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!