when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on it .....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to be immune to any type of radiation, unless it has something from the periodic table.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to be normal and average

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

The ability to count to potato

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

thumb_up thumb_down +131

The power to do 1d3 points of damage on successful touch attack twice a day assuming no spell resistance.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

The power to look into the car next to me at the exact moment the driver is picking his nose

thumb_up thumb_down +127

the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The ability to face reality after reading all the pointless powers

thumb_up thumb_down +125

The power to make pencils dull.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

the power to be super ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +121

The ability to read your own mind

thumb_up thumb_down +121

the power to dissaper into nothingness and appear in 2 years again while not noticing you skipped time...

thumb_up thumb_down +119

The power to shit without squinting.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

thumb_up thumb_down +113

The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!