The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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The power to be able to hear your t.v while it's on mute.

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the power to walk thorugh a door if its lcosed

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The power to die and come back to life in the middle of a crossfire between two tanks.

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the power to turn into a tree

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The power to teleport to a singular spot 500 meters above sea level and you don't have any other powers.

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The superpower to realize that if you guys thumb my former comment up, then it is no longer a useless "superpower" and would by itself contradict uh... itself.. by being useful... Moral: Hey, turning into Beiber at will is useful for banging silly young chicks at will is it not? And I will rather bang brainless women (beliebers yes I mean you, because everyone deserves some love) Disclaimer: Sexual age of consent is 16 over here, and good luck calling a whole nation for pedophiles, nope girls simply mature faster here... Fact: Above.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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The power to breathe underwater but only if you are dry.

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the power to sit

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to walk at the speed of light, but not any slower.

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The ability to fart and pee twice in one go.

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The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

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The power to be immune to any type of radiation, unless it has something from the periodic table.

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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The power to be normal and average

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The power to unscramble an egg, but only after you've eaten it.

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The ability to count to potato

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!