The power to impress a mentally disabled person by doing absolutely nothing

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The ability to read the recaptcha images

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power to eat 500000 big macs in a day

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The power to drink as much tequila as you want without dying.

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The Power to penetrate Ellen Degeneres's Vagina.

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The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

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The power to not care.

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The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The power to change any of your friend's name to Tom but only if their real name is Thomas.

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The amazing ability to shoot any liquid substance out of your eyes, with a requirement being you must douse your eyes with the substance beforehand.

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

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The ability to sweat poop.

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The power to let Raj from big bang theroy talk to girls without alcohol

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The power to magically generate drugs in your pockets, but only while being arrested or in a police station.

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The ability to lift things up and put them down.

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The power to fold paper seven times

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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lol

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

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The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!