the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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The power of dying whenever you want.

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The power to die from darting too hard

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to spontaneously get drunk, but only when writing your exams

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to convert any font to comic sans at will.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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The power to control any O-shaped piece of metal.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to .... Make pointless superpowers! :D

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The ability to irreversibly turn into a turkey days before thanksgiving.

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to get laid with whomever you choose, but they look and feel like one of your parents.

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The power to not be able to touch any living thing.

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The power to toss you`re limbs at your enemies, but not to re-attach them.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The ability to seduce women when there's no women in the room

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The power to both love and hate marmite.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!