Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to fly, but only when you touch the ground.

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to convert any font to comic sans at will.

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The ability to know the current mood of your doppleganger.

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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The power to piss your pants when ever a vowel is pronounced.

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To be small u could be step on because no one can hearu

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The power to control any O-shaped piece of metal.

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The ability to turn into a slightly damp sponge

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The ability to count to potato

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The power to become a frog when a snake sees you

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The ability to look at yourself in anything, except a mirror.

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The power of extreme superstrenght, you scratch you`re nuts and planet earth explodes from the vibrations.

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The power to make pencils dull.

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The power to get laid with whomever you choose, but they look and feel like one of your parents.

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The power to live forever until you die a natural way or get killed.

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The power to throw fireballs only under water

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The power to both love and hate marmite.

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Superhuman strength and endurance but only when sleeping

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!