The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to be super jewish

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have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

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The ability to hear fish.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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the power to get sick

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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The power to write about pointless superpowers.

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The power to make sense of Donald Trump

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Strength to instantly kill anyone just by lightly tapping them, as long as they're physically stronger than you.

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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the power to be in AA.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the power to melt your bones

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The power to make school 24 hours , and making vacations for 30 minutes.

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The power to sing like Justin Beiber.

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The power to be superman on a planet without a sun

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The ability to see into the present.

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The power to die and not come back to life.

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The power to sense the emotions of inanimate objects.

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!