the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it

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The ability to pee while standing up for men

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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the ability to produce petrol from your ankles but only when you're on fire.

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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ability to levitate using my fart...

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The power to give anybody the finger - except the person you're mad at.

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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the power to send text messages while driving

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the ability to glow in the light.

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the power to fly, but only when you poop

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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The power to have explosive diarrhea when people are looking at you.

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!