The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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The power to count to infinity.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to change the color of your saliva.

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The ability to always wake up in time but never fall asleep in time.

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the power to win any shit eating contest.

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The power to laugh in Japanese.

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The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

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The power to make someone hate crayons by poking your left eyebrow while looking at them.

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The power to grow your own armpit hair at a rate of 1 ft/day, and change its color at will.

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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the power to turn into toilet paper but not back

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The power to shoot pieces of cheese from your eyes..

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The power to breathe through your mouth when you have a stuffy nose

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The power to look like yourself

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The power to waste money

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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the power to read your own mind the power of 75% levitation the power of turning into a juicy pork chop in the presence of a lion the power to believe it is butter the power to turn into a blender once and never change back the power to cry acid the power of turning highly visable while trying to sneak the power to speak, sneeze and cough really loudly and annoyingly the power to teleport half of your body the power to age extremely fast the power to have the patience to write this the power to read all of these d pwer 2 rite stupeedlee the power to thumbs down this (it also makes you look stupid) the power to only speek in sarcasm the power to see the past (not the future) emit eht lla sdrawkcab etirw ot rewop eht

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The power to stop typing about the power. IT'S OVER 9000.

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The power to eat broken glass and shit windows.

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The ability to speak Latin but only when no one can hear you

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The power to find something that isn't in the last place you look.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!