- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

The ability to put on a glove that is slightly too large and have your fingers grow to fit the glove.

The power to every two months to shoot three cotton balls at no great velocity from your left hand.

The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

The power to fart slightly less deadly

The power to turn into a magikarp

the power to get somewere at the same time that you arrive.

The ability to have 99 problems without one of them being a female

The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

The power to be able to fall asleep instantly

The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

the power to put your shoes on faster than you did before

the power to get sick

The power to make sense of Donald Trump

The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

The power of becoming an apple tree

The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

The power to drive a car, but only once you've passed your driver's license.

The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

The ability to swim in water.

The power to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without having any peanut butter.

The power to make the opposite of what you want to happen (and you can not think of bad things happening)

Pointless Super Powers