the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The power to shatter a mirror just by staring at it.

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the ability to produce petrol from your ankles but only when you're on fire.

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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The power to stop time for all living beings in the world, including yourself, and starting it again at the same time as the time would have been if you didn't stop it.

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The power to run as fast as a snail.

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ability to levitate using my fart...

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the ability to run as fast as you want but never be able to slow down...

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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the power to send text messages while driving

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the ability to glow in the light.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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The power to read this text unless you can see it.

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To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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The power to sharpen mechanical pencils and pens.

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The power to poop whenever you want.

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to have explosive diarrhea when people are looking at you.

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The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to climb up fallen trees

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power to shit out toilet paper.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!