the power to tell Austin Zachrich to go pee

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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the power to remove the white seeds from a watermelon over the course of two months.

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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The power to shoot sperm out of your eyes

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The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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the power to turn everthing you touch into to some form of pork but you are an orthodox jew

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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the power to be able to get pointless superpowers

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The power to like this power

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power to have 50%-78% water in your body

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The power to uncontrally boop

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Power to instantly turn drunk

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Acid tears.

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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The power to read everything 2 seconds faster than usual

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The power to touch the ground using only your feet

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ability to levitate using my fart...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!