the power to change people socks on command

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The power to change into an Arab at will. Moral: Will not work inside arab-countries.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to fly 3 inches.

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The power to eat your poop

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to take perfectly timed photos when nothing interesting is going on.

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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the power to turn into a tree

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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the power to be Justin bieber

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The power to have a invisible boat mobile

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the power to catch em' all

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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TREE POWERS ACTIVATE

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to be any animal you want, but only if you are that specific animal that you want to be.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!