the power to get in the van

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The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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the power to not have superpowers

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to grow your fingernails .0001 centimeters a day

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you do not need to eat but you have to sit

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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the power to beathe

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The power to fart tear gas

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The ability to breath in a complete vacuum but nowhere else

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The power to resurrect the dead but only for 1 second.

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The power to be out of the kitchen... and a woman

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the power to be like charlie sheen and relize that my score is 0

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The ability to turn into a phone when its smash your phone season

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the power to travel around the world in 24 hours

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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the power to jerk off

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The power to quote Castlevania quotes all day... yelling them out on the streets! Moral: WHAT IS A MAN! People look at me and laugh... and moral man struts past... he has never been so awesome before... They see me rollin... they laughing... they lovin... and I hope nobody calls the ambulance because I am crazy... in love... I can see it in your eyes... I can see it in your smiiileeee...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!